


Exposure Therapy

by starlalalala



Category: The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: Multiple Pov, Post Game, long fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-28
Packaged: 2018-03-05 00:33:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3098366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlalalala/pseuds/starlalalala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian Castellanos survived the STEM system. His partner, Joseph Oda, did not. Or so everyone thinks.</p><p>Weeks after Sebastian stumbled out of Beacon Hospital, Juli Kidman and her mysterious organisation return with a simple offer: Sebastian helps them take down Ruvik, and he gets his partner back.</p><p>But the deal has a catch. If Sebastian wants to see his partner again, he must return to the STEM.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first attempt at writing fan-fiction for quite some time, so I hope you'll all be patient with me... and give me criticism where needed. I don't like to give my chapters themes, because I feel like I'll never find the right song for it, but I will provide suggestions! For this chapter, I suggest 'Sinister Kid' by the Black Keys.

It was nearing the end of his sixth session with Doctor Saunders, and Sebastian wanted out.

Three weeks since he escaped the STEM system and there were still no leads on anything –on Leslie’s ( _Ruvik’s_ ) whereabouts, on Kidman’s past or on Joseph’s location. Sebastian knew that, in all likelihood, they were searching for Joseph’s body –and he knew that was what everyone else thought too, by the way they had looked at him as he cleared his things off his desk the last time he’d been to the precinct.

And there was nothing he could do to help (officially), because he’d been slapped with mandatory leave the second he’d walked out of the hospital and told to see Doctor Saunders twice a week or lose his job. Sebastian had agreed to see her, but he hadn’t been happy. He was less than trusting of shrinks these days. Doctor Stevie Saunders didn’t seem to begrudge him that, though, even if she was too smart to miss it.

If he was being honest to himself, he knew he was probably being unfair to her. She’d been understanding with his silence on certain subjects, she didn’t push the issue when he’d outright refused her offer of sleeping pills or any kind of medication, and she’d even put in a good word for him to the chief when the IA were assessing if he’d ever be fit for duty again. But there were times when Sebastian would look at her and swear he’d see Ruvik’s gaze –as if he were a lab rat in her eyes, a curiosity to be studied and, if there was more to be learned, cut apart. Sebastian would blink, and she’d be looking at him with a kind smile and warm brown eyes (oddly a few shades lighter than her skin, he’d noticed), but he could never be truly comfortable around her.

“I really do want you to make an effort to get more sleep, Sebastian,” Doctor Saunders said, leaning towards him in her seat to emphasise her concern. She was about ten years younger than Sebastian, and pretty with wavy black hair that framed a heart-shaped face. Everything about her seemed to suggest a caring, loving individual, which he supposed was useful in her field of work –encouraged trust. “Even if you don’t want any medication, there are many other methods.”

Sebastian was pretty sure that if they weren’t in a professional environment, she’d suggest a cup of warm cocoa before bed. She just seemed like the type of person.

“I’ll do my best, Doc,” he replied. It was insincere and she saw through it immediately, but her reaction was a smile that showed only a little disappointment. Of course, that disappointment could well be there for show, designed to make him feel guilty and make a more genuine effort–

–or it could be her reaction to a patient who wasn’t making much progress. Sebastian would have to reconsider Doctor Saunders’ concerned assertion that he was becoming increasingly paranoid if he started to assign cruel intentions to a suggestion that he actually get a healthy amount of sleep. He looked at the clock, just over her shoulder so her patients could see it easily (and she could easily see her patients looking at it) and found that it was time for him to go. He stood and grabbed his jacket off the chair –Doctor Saunders was used to his abrupt departures by now, and generally accepted his promise to try and get more sleep (or socialise more or whatever it was she suggested he do) as a parting comment.

This time, though, she made a little noise before he could make a move for the door, one that told him she had wanted to speak but stopped herself to reconsider. Her smile had disappeared and she looked as serious as he had ever seen her as she watched him to make sure he’d stay. When she was satisfied that he wasn’t going to dive for the door (something that he had very nearly done on his first visit to her office) she looked at her little clipboard, which she always held but never seemed to write anything on, and avoided his eyes. Sebastian could see the gears turning in her head as she tried to think of how best to approach whatever she wanted to say. It reminded him of a few interrogations on certain suspects –the ones who were smart enough to think before they spoke, but hadn’t thought it through before they’d been brought in. To the doctor’s credit, it didn’t take her nearly as long to speak as it had those suspects.

“I was provided with a copy of your statement to the police,” she began. And now he was the one looking away, because he knew what was coming next. She wanted him to talk more about the STEM –what little he’d told the police about it, anyway.

The discovery of the STEM lab had sent shockwaves through Krimson City. It had provided leads in dozens of murder cases and potentially hundreds of missing person’s cases. The research conducted there, reporters said, was terrible, but could revolutionise mental health work. The official statement said the victims had been pumped full of chemicals that somehow induced a mass hallucination. No mention of connecting brains and no mention of Ruvik. Sebastian, as the only known survivor, was mentioned several times, but the press had been kept away from him with impressive totality. He had been mostly honest with the detectives that had interviewed him –two from the homicide division, then two new members of the missing person division whose transfers he’d missed, and finally two from IA.

After the IA interview, he’d been all but shoved through Doctor Saunders’ door. She had touched on his time in the STEM, but never pushed it, seeming content to wait until he brought it up. Instead, she’d focused on how he was coping with the loss of his partner and friends, how he was handling the realisation that he’d been missing for a month, and any lasting trauma he was suffering.

Sebastian feared that had changed, but she remained silent on the topic. Instead, she brought up another subject he desperately wanted to avoid.

“You reported news on the disappearance of a patient at Beacon, a… Leslie Withers.” Her face was hard to read through his lashes, because he still couldn’t look her in the eye, but she was studying him, he knew, watching his reaction. He gave her a curt nod, not trusting himself to speak –and, paranoid or not, not trusting her at all. “Towards the end of your statement, you warned he might be dangerous but did not elaborate on why.”

She studied him for a moment more, waiting to see if he would speak. When it became clear he would remain silent, she sighed.

“I’ve seen Leslie Withers’ file, too. According to a Doctor Jimenez, he can be upset easily, but there’s no history of violence. In fact, I believe the word ‘docile’ was used more than once.” The blunt tone she’d used was the same one he’d heard when she’d asked him about his drinking habits and if he was planning on self-medicating again. She sat up straight, too, and looked him in the eye. Sebastian had to admit that, for a young and unintimidating woman, Doctor Saunders could summon a certain amount of authority when she wanted to. Not enough to cow Sebastian, though, who was used to working with a department head who could stop a raging bull with one glare.

“Why do you believe that Leslie Withers could be dangerous?” she asked him.

For a second, Sebastian wanted to speak. Wanted it off his chest, wanted to tell Doctor Saunders what he hadn’t told any of the detectives –that Ruvik had taken over the body of Leslie Withers and Sebastian had no idea what he was willing to do to keep it or what he was planning to do with it. Of course, there was a reason he hadn’t told anyone else that. If everything else he’d said had convinced them he was crazy (Doctor Saunders had assured him he was only there because his co-workers were concerned about the trauma he had suffered, but Sebastian had seen the looks on the faces of the six who’d interviewed him and everyone who had access to the reports) then this would be the final nail in the coffin. Instead, he settled for something that wasn’t entirely a lie.

“A lot of things happened to him in Beacon. I don’t think he’s the same person he was when he went in.”

Doctor Saunders accepted that answer with a nod, and smiled as if she were happy he’d opened up to her. He did his best to smile back, but it seemed she’d ascribed a different reason to why he couldn’t quite manage it.

“I’ve been assured that leads are being pursued in his case. According to what I’ve heard, I think he has a good chance of being found.” She stood and shook his hand, and even if he trusted her about half as far as he could throw her, Sebastian had to admit he was glad that he’d gotten her rather than the smug bastard the IA had assigned to him last time.

“Thanks, Doc,” he said, and maybe meant it a little bit.

She turned to fill out some notes on her computer, and he walked out her door, which was surrounded by degrees and commendations. When he’d asked her about it (in a bid to get the conversation away from himself, even if for a moment), she’d confessed that she’d had her credentials questioned once, and kept them around to point to them if it ever happened again. It hadn’t, she’d told him.

***

Sebastian had felt guilty about a lot of things in his life. A lot of things he’d often have to make a conscious decision not to dwell on. But Leslie Withers was very high on the list of things he felt guilty about and one of the few he could still do  _something_  about.

So, when he’d been put on mandatory leave for no defined period of time and his only commitment his sessions with Doctor Saunders, Sebastian had wanted to do a little investigating of his own.

Problem was he had no idea where to start. Whichever organisation Kidman worked for had covered their tracks well, and Beacon Hospital had been locked off from him. But he’d stood by and watched the kid get… absorbed or erased or whatever had happened, and he couldn’t forget that, even if the only thing he could do was try and get some justice. For Leslie, for every other victim of the STEM labs, and hell, even for himself.

 _And for Joseph_ , some part of him thought. He quashed that voice. These days, Joseph was one of the topics he decided not to dwell on.

Sebastian felt a chill not related to the cool autumn weather as he walked back to his apartment and quickened his pace.

They hadn’t found Joseph and Sebastian knew that many in the department blamed him –blamed his bad statement for the lack of leads and even blamed him for Joseph’s disappearance in the first place. Joseph hadn’t been outgoing by any means, but he made friends and kept them far easier than Sebastian and everyone in their department at least appreciated his company. On the few times he’d been to the missing persons department since Beacon, it felt oppressive. When Lily had died, he’d used work as an escape. He did the same thing when Myra disappeared. But that tried and true method would fail him now, he knew –even when (he refused to think  _if_ ) he was taken off leave, Joseph’s absence would destroy any chance of finding comfort there. He’d be assigned a new partner either from the department, which meant they would think he was crazy already, or a transfer, who would soon learn that association with Sebastian seemed to carry some sort of curse.

Sebastian turned the last corner to his apartment building, but as he did he saw something that made him walk right past it.

A shadow, flitting into a small alley when it became possible for him to see it.

He was being followed.

With his apartment safely behind him, Sebastian listened and watched out of the corner of his eye, mindful of Doctor Saunders’ ‘paranoid’ assessment. But after five minutes of walking aimlessly, he only became more convinced –his tail was smart, he’d give them that, always keeping a reasonable distance and remaining inconspicuous, but Sebastian knew what to look and listen for.

He headed for streets that were more or less abandoned. It was 6pm and cold, so it wasn’t hard to find a street where only a man stood, smoking beside an apartment building’s door. The street was close enough to his home that he knew it, far enough away that the standard of living here was noticeably lower. The pavement was cracked and broken glass littered the street everywhere, glinting in the last of the day’s light. It looked almost pretty, but the remnants of dried vomit in the gutter ruined the effect.

His tail was still there, further back than ever. Sebastian made a sharp turn into a narrow, trash-lined alley, trying to look like he’d remembered a short-cut. He caught a glimpse of them, saw that they were smaller than him and closing the distance.

The alley was filthier than the street and far darker. A stray cat nibbled on a chicken bone at the other end, where a tall brick wall rose, blocking any other exit. Under other circumstances, Sebastian might have picked it up and taken it to the animal shelter. Right now, he had bigger concerns.

He stayed close to the edge of the alley, back flat against the wall of the building, standing on someone’s leftover salad, and waited.

Soon enough, he heard soft footsteps and a long shadow stretched out in front of the alley. Sebastian didn’t dare to breathe.

Memories tugged at him –hiding in wait for a Haunted to walk past so he could take them out quietly, hoping and praying that none of the others heard it. Hoping that perhaps this one might drop something useful –ammo, a syringe or even an axe or a torch. Fearing it would be one of those creatures who couldn’t be taken down by a stab wound to the spine.

It was only when his follower was only a few steps away and Sebastian found himself reaching for a knife that wasn’t there that he came back to himself.

 _Easy,_ he thought.  _You’re not there, and it’s a person this time. A threat, maybe, but not a monster._

He hoped.

They rounded the corner and Sebastian looked at them just long enough to ascertain that they weren’t the man smoking next to the building, and it was only when he’d grabbed her and slammed her into the alley wall that he processed who he was seeing.

“Kidman,” he growled.

Juli Kidman seemed unimpressed, even when a much larger person loomed over her looking ready to kill. “Nice to see you, too, Sebastian.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kidman's sudden reappearance brings with it a series of revelations, and Sebastian is given new hope -and dread.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me again! I wanted to thank everyone who supported me for the first chapter!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter. If you have any critiques, please let me know!
> 
> Again, I don't want to give this chapter a theme, but... for a suggestion, maybe 'Caught Like a Fly' by Falling in Reverse. Applies to the first half at least, maybe???

“What the _fuck_ are you doing here?” Sebastian hissed. He dug his fingers into her arms, hard enough to leave bruises. Kidman only showed the slightest discomfort.

Sebastian had been angry after the STEM incident. Very angry. It was an anger that needed more than one focus. For one, there was Ruvik, who was an all-round asshole and started the STEM experiments. There was Doctor Jimenez, who was dead, but had still supported Ruvik up until he no longer had a use for him and treated his patients like shit. Then, there was Juli Kidman, who lied to him, tried to kill Leslie, and killed his partner.

Sebastian fought to keep calm, trying to show that anger only through his hold on Kidman and the look in his eyes. He was pretty sure that even the good Doctor Saunders might have difficulty justifying a murder to the police. She might help him with an insanity plea, though.

“I figured we should talk,” Kidman said, testing his grip. When she found it too strong to break through, she continued. “Unless you’d rather just beat me to death.”

“Don’t tempt me,” Sebastian replied. The initial shock of seeing her had gone, though, and there was no real threat behind his words. Sebastian wasn’t going to prison for her. He didn’t loosen his grip, though. There were things he needed to know. “So, let’s talk. Where the fuck have you been?”

“Around.”

“Where’s Ruvik?”

“I was going to ask you that.”

Sebastian glared at her and she met his gaze without flinching.

“What’s going on here?”

Sebastian jumped away from Kidman, nearly hitting the other side of the alley in his haste. Kidman straightened and for a second looked as surprised as he felt. The question hadn’t come from either of them.

A figure darkened the entrance of the alley, her dark skin looking grey in the fading light. Doctor Saunders glanced between the two of them. Her expression suggested she was more confused than worried that a patient who she’d said had significant psychological trauma had just pinned a woman to an alley wall.

A million questions flew through Sebastian’s mind –what was she doing here? How had she found them? Was she going to report this? In the end, it was Kidman who spoke first.

“We’re in the middle of a conversation, Stevie.” Kidman’s voice was dry, and Sebastian might have found the comment amusing if it weren’t for the revelation it brought.

“You two know each other?” he asked. His voice wavered more than he wanted it too, even though some part of him felt triumphant. You’re not paranoid if they really are all out to get you. Another part of him scrambled for another explanation (maybe Kidman’s organisation had approached her for information on him?) because hell, he hadn’t trusted Doctor Saunders, but it would’ve been nice if someone was on his side.

It was that last part that Doctor Saunders seemed to see. The guilt on her face said more than any words could’ve, and Sebastian wondered if that was fake, too. Hell, how much of any of it was true? Where had those degrees and commendations on her wall come from? Who decided that he would see her? How many–

“Perhaps,” Doctor Saunders (was that even her real name?) began, “it would be better if we had this conversation elsewhere. In a cleaner public place?”

It would certainly make it less likely that they’d make him disappear again.

“Fine,” Sebastian said. “But I choose the place.”

***

They ended up in a quiet little café. It was close to his apartment, so Sebastian knew it and the owners well. If he was paranoid, he wasn’t far gone enough to think that the sweet old couple who ran the place were international spies, so he figured it was good enough to hold their ‘conversation’.

Sebastian ordered a coffee –Aggie, one of the owners, was a sweet old lady who knew his favourites off by heart. She didn’t recognise either Kidman or Doctor Saunders, which was lucky, seeing as Kidman was officially a missing woman and he didn’t want any difficult questions interrupting this. Doctor Saunders ordered a vanilla milkshake and Kidman went without.

A tense silence followed. Kidman just stared at Sebastian, and he had to assume she only blinked when he did. However childish it was, looking away felt like he was losing somehow, so he met her eyes squarely as Doctor Saunders quietly sipped at her milkshake. Sebastian had no idea how long Kidman and he could’ve sat like that if Doctor Saunders hadn’t spoken up.

“I’m sure,” she said, her voice gentle, like he might break if she spoke too loud or too harshly, “you have a lot of questions, Sebastian.”

Sebastian dragged his gaze from Kidman to glare at her. Doctor Saunders looked sincere. Concerned. Like she did every time he walked into her office. He couldn’t give much value her appearance. At least, not while she was still calm.

“How about we start with something simple?” Sebastian suggested. There was a biting edge to his voice that he couldn’t hide. Kidman’s face remained the same: slightly annoyed, very alert. Doctor Saunders’ face fell. “How long have you two known each other?”

Doctor Saunders glanced at Kidman, but Kidman’s gaze remained on Sebastian. She looked distinctly uncomfortable as she talked, and Sebastian made a note of that. Doctor Saunders would be much easier to get information out of.

“Juli and I met about two years ago.”

“So about as long as she’s known me,” Sebastian said. This time, his voice was flat, emotionless, a tone that was more cutting for its bluntness.

Doctor Saunders shifted and looked as though she was going to say more, but Kidman cut her off.

“Stevie, just ask him already.” Kidman spoke without taking her eyes off Sebastian. “We’re wasting time.”

Sebastian took offence to that, but focused on the other thing she’d said. “What is it that you wanted to ask me?” And, because he couldn’t resist, “I didn’t ask you to come here, Kidman. If I’m wasting your time, leave.”

Doctor Saunders opened her mouth to speak but was, once again, cut off.

“That’s not what I meant, Sebastian,” Kidman said. She leaned over the table towards him; not aggressive enough for the barista to take notice, only meant to emphasise her point. “We just have a very small window of opportunity before Ruvik leaves the city.”

Sebastian felt his hand tighten into a fist below the table. “I thought,” he said in a measured voice, “that you didn’t know where he was.”

“Well–”

“I said I was going to ask you if you knew where he was,” Kidman corrected, speaking over Doctor Saunders smoothly. “We know where he is now. We also know he won’t be there long.”

“Which–”

“Tell me,” Sebastian ordered. He kept his voice low to avoid attention. Luckily, it also served to make him sound more threatening. “Tell me where he is.”

“We–”

“Give me a reason to.”

Sebastian didn’t know what he would’ve done next, because he was distracted by a very aggressive throat-clearing from Doctor Saunders.

Doctor Saunders looked annoyed. She didn’t have the same sort of cold, predatory appearance that Kidman could manage when she was pissed, but Sebastian felt compelled to listen to her anyway. Kidman did too, apparently, because for the first time her attention turned to her neighbour.

“Sebastian,” she began. She reached her hands across the table towards him and leaned forward. On Kidman, the position was aggravating –on her it seemed earnest. “I understand that you have no reason to trust us. Right now, though, we have an opportunity to grab Ruvik and stop him, permanently.”

“You want us to work together.”

Doctor Saunders looked at him, trying to read his expression again. Sebastian’s eyes narrowed. Let her see he was pissed.

“I do. The organisation that Juli and I work for wants the Ruvik case finished as much as you do. I believe that you can help us with that.” Now Kidman was examining him, and Sebastian was reminded of all the reasons that he hadn’t liked her even before he knew she was lying to him.

“Let me get this straight,” Sebastian said, leaning back and crossing his arms. Doctor Saunders backed off too, looking down at her half-finished milkshake. “You want me to work with you two. Even though,” he continued over Doctor Saunders’ attempt to speak, “you two have lied to me from the moment I met you. Even though she,” he jerked his thumb towards Kidman, not trusting himself to look at her, “killed my partner.”

The entire atmosphere of the table changed. Sebastian felt numb, but he had to shove that aside for now –Doctor Saunders had already seen more of his vulnerability than he would’ve liked, and he wasn’t going to let her see any more if he could help it. Kidman couldn’t meet his eye when he risked a glance at her, and even Doctor Saunders’ endless attempts to soothe him seemed to run dry for a moment. Sebastian was struck with the notion that Joseph probably would’ve been right there with her, trying to smooth things over and keep things calm for at least as long as they were in public. The difference being he could’ve trusted Joseph.

 _I miss you,_ he thought for no real reason. Wherever Joseph was now, he couldn’t hear him.

“There’s something else,” Doctor Saunders said quietly. She’d clasped her hands on the table, close to her, and looked down at them, hunched over. She’d never taken up much space, but the position made her seem especially small, and Sebastian couldn’t summon enough energy to give the fact that she could be manipulating him much thought. She glanced up at Sebastian and he nodded for her to continue. “I don’t know how much you know about the theory behind the STEM system or its history, but you may know that before Doctor Jimenez broke off with him, Ruvik often entered and left the STEM system at will.”

Sebastian leaned forward, curious in spite himself. “I remember reading something like that,” he said.

“Stevie,” Kidman began, with a warning tone in her voice, “do you really think he can handle this right now?”

“You supported my assessment that he could help us, Juli,” Doctor Saunders reminded her. She shot an apologetic glance towards Sebastian, but at this point the revelation that they’d spoken about him, probably with some unknown third party present, didn’t really phase him too much. “And he has a right to know. In any case, he’d find out sooner rather than later.”

She refocused on Sebastian. Despite the confidence in her earlier words, she looked nervous, and took a long time deciding how best to proceed. Again Sebastian was reminded of an interrogation, this time even more so because he was demanding answers now, and again Doctor Saunders decided how to approach things faster than any suspect.

She took a deep, steadying breath before she spoke. “Despite the many disconnections and reconnections, the victims of his previous experiments always returned to the STEM world when he was hooked up again.”

Sebastian saw through the implications of that immediately. He looked her in the eyes –he needed to hear her say it and he needed to look at her and see no suggestion that she was lying. She seemed to sense this, and met his eyes as she spoke.

“We have reason to believe that your partner is alive.”

He could feel their eyes on him, both of them, and Kidman looked downright concerned as a wave of dizziness hit him.

“Sebastian?” He heard Doctor Saunders’ voice distantly, filled with worry. He didn’t reply, staring at his untouched coffee, trying to process what he’d just been told.

“How?” he demanded before his hopes could rise any further. Doctor Saunders had said it herself. He had no reason to trust them.

But he wanted to.

“After the STEM incident, we took his body in,” Kidman told him. Her face was more open now, but Sebastian was still too stunned to think too hard about anything other than what they were telling him. “His heart was still beating, he was still breathing on his own, but our doctors couldn’t wake him up. Brain scan results were…” she looked at Doctor Saunders, who shrugged. “…Strange.”

“We detected no brain function in the areas associated with… emotion, thinking, anything like that,” Doctor Saunders continued. “We believe that his ‘mind’, what makes your partner himself, may have been left in the STEM world when he was disconnected. He could still be in Ruvik’s mind.”

“But you think there’s a chance…” Sebastian trailed off, steadied himself and looked up at the two women across from him. He’d come to accept Joseph as dead by replaying the memory in his mind: the memory of seeing him shot in the chest, the blood splatter, the way he dropped. It hurt every time, rubbing salt in a still very fresh wound, and as soon as he was convinced he’d tried to put it out of his mind completely. It was better than hoping for the impossible, and he figured it was better to get used to being alone sooner rather than later. With Joseph gone and hell, even Connelly dead and Kidman a… whatever she was, Sebastian thought he’d lost everyone, everyone close to him. He had other friends, but they were acquaintances, people he worked with or saw every so often and waved to.

If he got Joseph back, he decided, that would change. He’d make more of an effort with people. But only if he got Joseph back.

“We believe that if we get Joseph hooked up to the STEM system again, with Ruvik, we can recover him,” Doctor Saunders said. “I’m also optimistic about the recovery of Leslie Withers.”

Kidman sent a sharp glance her way as she said it, which Sebastian filed away for later but couldn’t examine now. “What’s the catch?” he demanded, because there had to be one with these people.

Kidman froze at that, and Doctor Saunders moved her hand –Sebastian couldn’t see, but was sure if he looked he’d find that Doctor Saunders had covered Kidman’s hand with her own, offering silent support.

That simple gesture brought with it the realisation that the two had worked together for two years and while Sebastian didn’t know how closely, they weren’t just co-workers at a shady, secretive organisation. They were friends. A picture came to him of the two of them, in an office somewhere, laughing over a joke (or Kidman at least grinning) and eating take out. He had no idea if it was in any way accurate, but it reminded him painfully of his relationship with Joseph.

In that moment, he realised that whatever else they were, they were people. He still couldn’t bring himself to trust their words, not after everything that had happened, but maybe… he might be able to put a little faith in their intentions.

He was brought back to reality when Kidman spoke again, her voice strained.

“The catch is someone has to recover them. The plan would mean going into the STEM system. Again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Worst cliffhanger ever. The summary completely spoiled it. Whoops.
> 
> But I wanted to keep my chapters around the 2500 word mark, so it seemed like a good place to end it!
> 
> I think you all might be starting to see why I warned that Saunders was going to be a major character, even if the story was still Sebastian's. Again, if you have any complaints about her, please let me know! 
> 
> See you next time!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian knows he's going into the STEM system, but what he doesn't know is how far he can trust his new 'partners'.
> 
> Before he has too much time to consider this, though, Ruvik's escape attempt speeds up the schedule.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Once again, I would like to thank all those who read this! I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> The musical suggestion for this chapter, which I'm going to come out and admit aren't so much themes as music I like that I twist to have a connection to my writing, is 'Dirge' by Death in Vegas.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, too!

In the end, Sebastian had agreed, because if there was any chance that Joseph was alive there was no way in hell Sebastian could say no.

Kidman and Doctor Saunders had left him at the café with an agreement that they’d meet there again at ten the next day. Doctor Saunders had shook his hand and left, saying she was happy he’d agreed to help and handing him the two dollars her milkshake had cost. Kidman had waited until she was out of earshot before nodding at Sebastian and saying, “I’ll look forward to working with you again.”

Sebastian had nothing to say to that. He watched her go, paid up at the counter and left. Somehow, he slept better that night than he had in weeks. Knowing that he had a clear course of action went a long way to soothing his mind.

But now he was awake, it was 9:30am, and he was pacing his apartment like a caged animal. He was in that terrible limbo where he was all ready to go but it wasn’t quite time to leave yet and he couldn’t start any sort of activity because he couldn’t get through it before it was time to go. The feeling –of not knowing what to do with himself, of an awareness of the slow passing of time– was amplified by the significance of this next meeting –the possibility of getting Joseph back, and the reality of re-entering the STEM world.

His living room, which consisted of an old, beaten couch, a nice TV, and what Joseph had termed an embarrassingly large collection of old cop movies and shows, felt suffocating. When he couldn’t take it anymore, he grabbed his keys and left.

It wouldn’t take ten minutes to walk to the café, and he didn’t want to sit there impatiently for twenty minutes and worry Aggie and Louis with his fretting. Instead, he wondered the streets, trying to clear his head.

The cool air hit his face, the late autumn weather warning of the winter to come. Sebastian faced away from the direction of the café and started walking.

The cold seemed to slow his thoughts, giving him time to focus on each one. He had a lot to think about, and it seemed inevitable that Joseph would come up.

Joseph, like Kidman, was officially a missing person. In his statement, Sebastian had mentioned how he had gotten shot in the chest by his colleague. It was confidential to anyone but those working on the Beacon case (which was several people in both the homicide and missing persons department –the discovery was big enough that a lot of manpower had been devoted to the task of answering the questions surrounding the place and how many unsolved cases had a connection). Even so, things were let slip, rumours abounded, and in the end, most of his colleagues knew that Joseph was probably dead. In the absence of any testimonies except his own, and the apparent lack (or disappearance) of any records on victims of the STEM system or the exact nature of the experiments taking place there, Sebastian knew that a lot of questions were going to be left unanswered by the investigation. He also knew that his statement was being treated as unreliable and that many had drawn their own conclusions on Joseph’s fate. Most believed Sebastian was to blame, even if he hadn’t killed Joseph himself.

He couldn’t really fault them for it. Sebastian had asked around and the chief of the missing person’s department herself had told him –Joseph had disappeared searching for him.

That wasn’t Sebastian’s fault, he knew. Joseph was a grown man and had chosen to search for him, and it felt downright disrespectful to take the blame for something Joseph had decided to do on his own. Sebastian knew that, in all honesty, Joseph’s disappearance was the fault of Ruvik, Jimenez and everyone who worked with them.

That didn’t really help with what he _felt_ , though, which was guilty and grieving. There were _would haves_ and _could haves_ and _should haves_ flying through his head, all the ways things could’ve gone differently if only he would’ve taken some perfect, casualty-free course that he should’ve taken.

And then, there was _grief._

Sebastian knew grief very well. His grandparents, first, all four of them gone before he was sixteen. A friend from college, lost to a car wreck. An acquaintance in forensics, targeted for her involvement in a serial killer case.

And then Lily. Her face flashed through his mind, and he tucked her away before he could get to caught up in that train of thought –he doubted he would ever recover from her death, but he was coping, moving on, no matter how traitorous that felt some days. Ripping open old wounds wouldn’t help himself or anyone else.

Myra could still be alive, somewhere, but Sebastian knew it was unlikely and grieved for her all the same.

In less than a year, it seemed that Sebastian’s entire life had come crumbling down –almost everything he took as constant had burned with Lily, and then it seemed that Myra had taken the rest with her when she disappeared. Work had served as an excellent distraction, but he owed Joseph more than he liked to admit for being there for him… and in the end, maybe even for reporting him.

And then Joseph had gone, too, and Sebastian realised how very _alone_ he was with him gone. Maybe if Connelly wasn’t dead and Saunders wasn’t working with Kidman, he’d have had people to fall back on –Connelly was a good colleague and an old friend, and Sebastian was sure that, with time, he could’ve learned to open up to Saunders. Hell, if Kidman hadn’t shot Joseph herself and wasn’t working for some weird organisation, he probably could’ve learned to like her.

Sebastian had stayed awake for too many nights, wondering how he’d get by. Drinking felt too much like giving up and betraying Joseph, who’d worked so hard to get him to stop. Any personal investigating had ended in brick walls, simply because he didn’t have the resources of an entire police department behind him, and he was trying to investigate professionals. It had been easy enough before his disappearance, when all roads led to Beacon, but with that gone, he hadn’t a single lead.

Sebastian had been left with far too much time to sit and think. He had reached the same conclusion several times: the loss of Joseph was one too many.

_But there’s hope now,_ he reminded himself, shoving those thoughts away with none of the care he’d given to the memory of Lily. _Maybe not much, considering where it came from, but it’s there._

Then again, it seemed that Kidman and Saunders really wanted to help –even if helping him was just happened to be a step in their own, bigger goals. Saunders hadn’t had to put in a good word for him to the chief and the IA to help him keep his job. It may have been to get his trust, but there was something about that that didn’t ring right –the IA officer he overheard her talking to was adamant that there was too much history for Sebastian to be relied upon, and he was pretty sure that if Saunders hadn’t argued as hard as she had, he’d be looking for another job right now. As for Kidman… when she showed any sort of good side, it seemed sincere. She hadn’t killed him when he’d turned and attacked her –shot him, yes, but he couldn’t blame her for that. He believed her concern yesterday had been real and that she regretted shooting Joseph –an action he couldn’t forgive her for. He also had to admit that her motives for trying to kill Leslie were… reasonable, even if he couldn’t agree with them. It was hard, though, to trust two people when you didn’t even know their real names, or if anything they’d told you was true.

It was only at this point that Sebastian realised he’d walked further than he’d intended and that he might just be late for his meeting. Cursing, he turned around and headed back.

***

He was two minutes late.

It was enough time, apparently, for Kidman and Saunders to have sat themselves down at the same table as yesterday, order another milkshake for Saunders, a latte for Kidman and a coffee presumably for him, and enough time for the more obviously emotional of the two to get anxious. When he walked in, Kidman was in the middle of saying something, possibly offering some calming words to Saunders, who was glancing around every so often as if he might magically appear in the booth on the other side of the room or behind the counter. Her eyes flicked to the door, and she smiled with evident relief as she saw him.

“Glad you could make it,” she said as he approached, standing to shake his hand. It was the same greeting he was used to from his sessions with her, which made him give more weight to the thought that not all of that had been an act.

Kidman didn’t stand, only nodded her head in greeting and gestured for him to take a seat across from the two of them. Both women seemed tense, now that he looked: both looked ready to bolt at the first sign of trouble. Saunders had also apparently had a haircut, because her hair was much shorter now and styled into an odd braided bun.

“When are we getting Ruvik?” Sebastian demanded without preamble. There was no point in wasting time and, while the café was mostly empty at this time on a workday, he’d rather not risk anyone coming in and interrupting. The owners, at least, were far enough away not to hear anything.

“Already have,” Kidman told him. “Last night.”

“And you didn’t tell me this, because?” Sebastian asked. He knew it wasn’t the apprehending of Ruvik they wanted his help with. A little more openness about their plans would’ve been appreciated, though.

“We didn’t know they had a team prepped to move so fast until after we met with you,” Saunders told him. She was wearing odd clothes today –he was used to seeing her in soft fabrics, but now she wore a sturdy grey button-down with a beaten army-style jacket slung over her chair. He hadn’t noticed a difference with Kidman, but a quick glance told him she was wearing practical boots rather than her usual stilettos. While Sebastian had watched Kidman run, jump, and take down several hostiles in her stilettos, he realised what their attire suggested.

They were expecting to be in a fight soon. Either they knew something he didn’t, or it was almost time to enter the STEM.

“They’d decided to grab him yesterday evening when they caught wind of him organising transportation for himself and his remaining equipment and research to go goodness knows where,” Saunders continued, looking worried about the sudden stiffness in his posture.

“They contacted me to contact you,” Kidman added. “Didn’t say why.”

“And then I was contacted to ensure you two didn’t kill each other,” Saunders said. “Sebastian, are you alright?”

“So what does that mean for the STEM schedule?” he asked, not even acknowledging that Saunders had asked a question. His hands were clenched on the surface of the table –he released them, slowly. Kidman had looked away as soon as STEM was mentioned.

Saunders glanced between the two of them, nervous. As far as Sebastian knew, she was the only one of them who had never entered the STEM system before. “We finished final preparations on our own STEM device last night and system checks this morning. We would like to go ahead with the recovery attempt at one.” Saunders studied him carefully, and while Sebastian didn’t like it, he recognised wanting to see his reaction to this news was… understandable.

Sebastian took a deep, steadying breath, and then another. He took a long gulp of his coffee, still just hot enough to be pleasant. Kidman had moved from staring out the window to staring at the sugar sachets on the table.

“One today?” he asked, just to confirm.

“Yes. This afternoon.”

Sebastian had expected a few days to mentally prepare himself, but maybe it was better this way. Less time to reflect on his experiences in the STEM and scare himself before he even got near it. He closed his eyes, sighed, and nodded.

“No time like the present,” he said.

Kidman had finally gotten around to looking at him, and he wondered if what he was seeing in her eyes was a reflection of what she could see in his –fear coupled with an almost resigned determination. Saunders, on the other hand, seemed grateful, with only a trace of the anxiety her companions felt.

“I should tell you before we go in case it changes your mind,” Saunders said. “It will only be us three going in.”

He’d been expecting as much, but it still surprised him for some reason. Surely these people could send more, better qualified personnel to–

“Small group, minimise losses. Plus, we’re the only three that have a high chance of being able to resist Ruvik’s influence,” Kidman said, leaning back. She looked past Sebastian, and he realised she was looking at the owners behind the counter. “Order something to take away if you want. Coffee at the base isn’t great.”

He glanced behind him –Aggie was looking at them curiously, but she was a woman who minded her own business. She smiled when he caught her eye, and he smiled back, which seemed to reassure her.

“I attacked you once,” he reminded her.

“Twice, if you count the time in the alley,” she said drily, stirring a pattern into her drink. She refocused on him. “Besides, you survived that place once. It’s like a flu shot. You stand a better chance now.”

“And you know what to expect, which can help,” Saunders added.

“For the record, though, I advised against Stevie’s involvement,” Kidman said. Saunders shot her a sharp –or as sharp as she could manage –glare and looked away when it was clear Kidman wasn’t going to meet it. Instead, Kidman looked at Sebastian, clearly expecting him to comment.

From the way Saunders sighed, it was clear that it was an argument the two had had many times before.

“It’s dangerous,” Sebastian offered. “There are things in there that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.” It was all he could think to say –he doubted he could beat any reasons Kidman had given her, and too deep a conversation on the dangers of the STEM might freak him out before he even entered the STEM.

Saunders gave him a look that suggested she thought he was very kind though maybe less smart than she’d thought. “I am well aware of the danger. Not to mention for my last two years as part of the organisation I’ve gone through extensive training for this.”

Sebastian had no idea why Kidman didn’t want Saunders going, but it clearly wasn’t because her ability had been called into question. He had no doubt that, though two years may not have been as much experience as he’d wanted her to have, whatever organisation Kidman and Saunders were part of wouldn’t have approved Saunders to go in the first place if they thought her incompetent.

In any case, Sebastian no longer seemed to be part of the discussion. The two women looked at each other until Kidman sighed.

“Fine,” she said, getting up. “I’ll shout this time. We might as well wait over there.”

“They’ll want us on call there,” Saunders agreed, also getting up. Sebastian followed suit, waiting as Kidman paid for their drinks before they headed out as a group.

“So where is this secret base of yours?” he asked as they walked, Saunders in the middle. There was enough space left on the sidewalk for the odd pedestrian to slip past.

Saunders gave him a nervous glance. “You’re not going to like it.”

A fact that made Kidman gleefully tell him. “You know the building where you and the good doctor had your appointments?”

Sebastian almost stopped mid-stride, but he refused to give Kidman the satisfaction. He couldn’t stop the look on his face, though –at this point, he could only muster exasperation. “Really?”

“If it makes you feel any better, it’s in the basement,” Saunders added, hoping to mend his wounded pride. “They’re really well hidden. Lots of soundproofing and everything.”

The idea of a top-secret organisation’s base of operations being in an office buildings’ basement gave him pause. Maybe they weren’t as impressive as he’d assumed. And the idea that he’d walked past the answers he was searching for at least twice a week…

When they reaching the building, they walked past the stairwell leading up to Doctor Saunders’ office. The door to the basement wasn’t hidden, but it was certainly easy to miss –behind the stairs, next to the bathrooms and utility closet. Kidman took out a key and unlocked it.

Sebastian frowned. _I could’ve picked that lock._

Before he could ruminate on the places sloppy security, though, Kidman was leading the way down a stairwell with Saunders following behind, letting Sebastian come last. He appreciated what he thought might be a conscience effort to make him feel less trapped.

“Close the door behind you,” Kidman told him when he was through. Well, at least it opened from the inside.

After closing the unusually heavy door, which he suspected wasn’t actually wood, Sebastian caught up with Kidman and Saunders. The stairs went down as deep as an ordinary basement and were well-lit, and the door they led to looked significantly more secure than the one they’d just come through. This one was obviously metal and locked with a key-card and a code, and a camera over the door provided a full view of the stairs. Saunders waved at the camera, and the door swung open.

Inside was no ordinary office basement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kidman's character interests me a lot, because while she does such terrible things... her motivations for doing them are essentially for the greater good? It doesn't make her actions right or justified, but it adds an interesting dimension to her character that I'm really glad a lot of the fans seem to be embracing! Even if she shot the cutie and tried to shoot the other cutie.
> 
> I really hope I do justice to her (and all the other characters, of course!)
> 
> By the way, I noticed everything in The Evil Within was quite up to interpretation and unclear... but even so, I doubt I have all the info available despite my intense nerdiness when it comes to this game. If I write anything that blatantly contradicts canon, please let me know!
> 
> Until next time, have a lovely day!
> 
> ...Or night.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the organisation's base, Sebastian is left alone with Saunders just long enough to pry some information out of her, before it's time to see the new STEM system.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter of whatever this is! Seriously though, thanks to everyone who's been reading and giving their support, it means a lot.
> 
> 'Who Are You Really?' by Mikky Ekko is this chapter's theme.

Any doubts Sebastian had had about the organisation’s resources disappeared. The entry room looked similar to a reception office, with a nurse’s desk and all, for a moment flinging him back to the asylum in the STEM, but the sterile whiteness of it all and the man behind the desk –tall, black, bald and in no way resembling Nurse Tatiana Gutierrez –served to bring him back to reality. Still, he was in unknown territory here, and he remained on edge.

The man seemed to be security. He was wary of Sebastian, though Sebastian figured it was no more than what his job required. A quick up-and-down look satisfied him, and he turned to Saunders and Kidman with a lazy (and, Sebastian thought, flirty) smile.

“So, you two ready for the big day?” he asked, rising from his seat. Sebastian almost took a step back towards the door. The guy was _really_ tall. He walked around the desk and stood next to the two women, and the height difference between him and Saunders was almost comical.

“We hope so,” Saunders replied, not quite as confident as she had been before but the others either didn’t notice or didn’t comment. Kidman smiled and the man grinned back. Saunders turned towards Sebastian, smiling, body language open: making a clear effort to include him in the exchange. “Sebastian, this is Eddie Tallis, the head of security around here. Eddie, this is Detective Sebastian Castellanos.”

He didn’t wince at her mispronunciation of his last name (he was far too used to it). Tallis and Sebastian shook hands and Sebastian was forced to admit that he found himself liking the man, as far as first impressions went. His smile seemed sincere.

“I’ve heard about you. I’m glad you agreed to go with ‘em,” Tallis said. Kidman scoffed in the background and they both turned to her.

“Think we can’t take care of ourselves?” she asked. Kidman had never teased (openly, at least) around Sebastian and Joseph, which may have been why it took him a while to recognise the question for what it was.

Tallis raised his hands in surrender. “No way! Just three sounds a hell of a lot better than two, is all.”

That rose a few questions in Sebastian’s mind, but he waited quietly as the three finished their conversation. He caught Saunders peeking at him a few times. Thankfully, she didn’t make any attempts to draw him out. Tallis also kept an eye on him, again something Sebastian ascribed to the demands of his job. Kidman seemed happy to ignore him for the moment.

It was only at the end of their exchange that Sebastian really listened in.

“One more thing. We didn’t get much chance to talk about it last night,” Saunders said, addressing Tallis. She nervously tried to brush hair behind her ear, but the braid-bun was held her hair back tight and there was nothing to brush. “You took in the, uh… subject, right? How much did he–”

“He had a metric shit-tonne of traps, but he didn’t put up a fight in that body he stole,” Tallis assured her. Kidman was looking at Saunders, but Sebastian couldn’t read her face. “My team was prepared. A bad scratch on King was the worse it got for us. Barker was able to sedate the guy without too much trouble.”

Saunders nodded, relieved.

After that, Tallis said goodbye and Sebastian followed the other two to what looked like a waiting room. It was probably just a break room, Sebastian decided. He was just too caught up with memories of Beacon to avoid the hospital connections.

Kidman excused herself, and he was left alone with Saunders.

“How come none of the security crew are going in? Above their pay-grade?” Sebastian asked as soon as Kidman’s footsteps (now much quieter without the heels) faded, meaning to say _if they were so worried about you two going alone, why rely on me to help_. Saunders had seated herself in one of the softer chairs the room had to offer, and while the chair next to it was less comfortable, Sebastian sat in it anyway.

Saunders apparently saw no issue with sharing this information, as she didn’t hesitate to answer. In fact, she seemed happy to tell him –Sebastian had a hard time deciding if that was because she thought he deserved to know or if she was eager to get the lying over and done with. Either way, Sebastian was certain he had found one very simple fact about Saunders –that regardless of what the people she worked with might want from him, she wasn’t actively working against him.

“It’s strictly volunteer-only due to the dangers associated with the STEM system,” she told him, and he forced himself to focus on her words rather than whether he could trust them or not. “Juli and I had to jump through a lot of hoops just to get us three to go through, particularly you.” She was waiting for him to ask more questions and it was hard for Sebastian to pick just one, but in the end he wanted to know why it was just the three of them, and why he was sought out at all –if only for the information that might come with her answers.

“We can’t be the only volunteers,” he said, and Saunders started talking almost before he finished the sentence.

“You may have noticed,” she began, with an eagerness that Sebastian found he hated, “that some people are more susceptible to the Ruvik’s control while within the STEM system?”

Sebastian remembered the men he’d seen turn, giving in before the barbed wire rose from the ground and trapped them. How Connelly seemed to be fine one minute, and gone the next. How Joseph and struggled so hard against turning, his fear of becoming a monster leading him to putting a gun to his head.

How Kidman didn’t even seem to notice that _noise._

He nodded.

Saunders frowned, enthusiasm thankfully fading for a moment –his response had been too slow –but continued, slower. “Certain factors give people a greater chance of resistance. From the report, I’d say you had an impressively high natural resistance when you went in. That should be even higher now, from the experience and knowing what to expect.”

“And you and Kidman?” Sebastian remembered that he had turned. It had taken Kidman shooting him to shake him from it. He had no idea how that qualified him for a high resistance. _It’s all relative,_ he guessed.

“Juli underwent an experimental procedure and subsequent training to be able to shake off the effects of the STEM. I just went through training, though a bit more focused than Juli’s –I had more, uh spare time.” Translation: I wasn’t busy working undercover as a junior detective. “Without the procedure, my resistance is still not as high as hers, but it should be enough to prevent me from succumbing.” Saunders talked as if the ‘should’ was purely a formality. Her confidence on that matter didn’t really pass to Sebastian.

He let it go, hoping that any concern for her was unfounded. Frankly, he wasn’t sure he could afford to worry about anyone other than himself, Joseph and, if he was still… around, Leslie. Any more distractions could prove fatal, particularly if those distractions came in the form of a woman who may have good intentions but whose interest in certain subjects made him think of a more smiley, more emotional Ruvik. At least what she’d said supported what Kidman had said in the café –that he’d been chosen for his experience and ‘resistance’. Moving on, he asked, “What did the training and procedure do?”

“The training is similar to training you would receive to resist interrogation tactics and the like. Essentially, you learn to put up barriers between yourself and Ruvik. Our information says victims of the STEM system have an urge to turn. In practice, it’s just about becoming very good at resisting that urge.”  Saunders paused, waiting for any questions he might have. _She would make a good teacher_ , Sebastian thought, in an effort to avoid the memories of Joseph talking about that urge. How he’d rather put a gun to his head than risk giving into it. When he didn’t say anything, she continued. “The procedure that Juli underwent is far more intense and pretty much guarantees that you won’t turn. However, she was the only one to go through with it.”

Memories still threatened to drag Sebastian down –a residual head-ache was starting to throb between his eyes, annoying more because of its phantom nature than the pain it brought. He needed to keep Saunders talking. “If it’s so great, then why only Kidman?”

“Due to what it entails, the procedure’s volunteer-only. Juli was the only volunteer.” Before he could ask, Saunders sighed, trying to tuck hair behind her ear again, and continued in a quieter voice, hurrying through the sentence in a way that contrasted with her previous, steady tone. “The idea is to essentially erase the current psyche and replace it with one with that can withstand Ruvik’s attacks.”

Sebastian dreaded the answer, but asked anyway. “Erase?”

Saunders shifted uncomfortably. “I’m sure your department was told of Juli’s lack of memories of her childhood?”

They were both silent after that.

_What the hell could’ve made Kidman prepared to throw away her life?_

It was a question Sebastian was sure Saunders couldn’t answer, and Sebastian really wasn’t sure he wanted to know. The silence hung heavy in the air between them, Saunders suddenly unable to look up from the floor.

Kidman was still gone, though, and Sebastian still wanted more answers. He sensed that Saunders’ desire to talk had waned and she was worried that she’d told him too much already, or at least revealed something that her friend wouldn’t want him to know. So he dropped that topic and moved onto one where Saunders (hopefully) wouldn’t be put on the spot to reveal information about others.

“How did you end up here?” he asked.

It might not have been the best way to phrase the question, but it got Saunders talking.

“Kidman found me two years ago. I was getting a little too close to Beacon and what was going on there, and it was just luck that she and the Mobius got to me before Ruvik did.” She looked him in the eye as she spoke. She was pleading with him to understand –trying to convince him that the organisation –Mobius, she’d called it – wasn’t so bad. Sebastian would accept that they were better than Ruvik. He needed more evidence before he could call them the good guys.

“How’d you find out about Beacon?” he prompted, because now that they were talking about it he found he did want to know. Saunders was not what he imagined when he thought of shady organisations whose members were willing to kill to further their mysterious agenda. Then again, Tallis wasn’t really either, but at least he looked like he could put up a fight.

“I am a qualified psychiatrist –that bit was true –but I was more of a researcher. I helped a research team at my university look at better treatments and therapies for certain mental diseases. We read Doctor Jimenez’s articles and found that his results were… interesting and the changes to therapies and medicines they suggested worked, but we found that neither we, nor any other team of researchers we talked with, could replicate the exact results with the experiments he claimed he found them with,” she explained all this with a nostalgic look, staring into the distance as she remembered the people she’d (presumably) left behind to pursue this, but there was one thing Sebastian couldn’t let go in there. One thing that made him feel justified when he’d looked at her and seen Ruvik.

“You experimented on people?”

He couldn’t hide the disgust in his voice and she was shocked into looking at him. There was a moment when she was caught in his gaze, wide-eyed like a deer in the headlights, like a kid who didn’t understand how bad they’d been, and then understanding flashed in her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she told him carefully, her eyes never leaving him, and Sebastian wondered if she was afraid he might strike her. He wouldn’t, the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind, because whatever she’d done he was pretty sure hitting her wasn’t warranted, let alone a solution. Now that his initial shock had passed, in fact, he felt like an idiot. Of course she had. She had just told him she was a researcher at a university, and he was sure that they’d have ethical codes and an oversight committee and steps in place to ensure everyone was safe. When she spoke next, she told him as much –that the treatments went through vigorous theoretical discussion before moving on to any stage of testing, and even then it was strictly on volunteers –or, in cases were the patients couldn’t consent on their own, tested on people with similar but less pronounced symptoms.

“Sorry, Saunders,” he winced, looking away and half expecting her to tell him the deal was off, he was too dangerous/unstable/ _paranoid_ to go with them, and oh, by the by, Joseph’s life was now off the table too, and a real lurch of fear nearly made all those feelings known before Saunders spoke.

“Stevie,” she said.

He looked at her, confused. She seemed to have no intention of kicking him out or being offended at what he’d just accused her of, so he gave a cautious, “What?”

“I’m sure you’ve guessed that Saunders isn’t my real name by now. I had to change it if I was going to investigate Beacon with the organisation, as I’d already had discussions with the hospital and even booked a meeting using my own name. The appointment never happened because that was when Juli grabbed me and told me to join them or drop my investigation,” Saunders –Stevie? –stopped here and Sebastian was still looking at her, trying to process what was happening.

In the end, he asked, “And Stevie is your real name?”

She nodded, and then sighed. “I… don’t want you to think this is some tactic to get you more comfortable with me or whatever, so you don’t have to. Or I could stop calling you Sebastian and go with Detective Castellanos.”

Sebastian considered her for a second longer, and then nodded. “Stevie,” (she smiled), “Sebastian is fine. Besides, you can’t even pronounce my last name.”

She looked downright indignant, her smile replaced with a frown that almost strayed into pout territory. “Well how do you pronounce it, then?”

He spent the next two minutes explaining that the double _l_ is pronounced like a _y_ and correcting her as she tried to figure it out. When she eventually got it, her eyes filled with pride and his with exasperation, and maybe a bit if amusement, Kidman walked in.

She examined both of them for a second, noting Stevie’s guilty look and Sebastian’s far too neutral expression as the cheerful atmosphere, in which two people managed to forget that they were about to put their lives in danger, faded.

“They’re hooking them up now,” she said. Her face had a too neutral expression as well, but for a far different reason, Sebastian knew. He understood. He didn’t want to go back to that hellscape that was the STEM system any more than she did, and he felt a respect for her for going in anyway. “We should head over.”

A couple of realities hit Sebastian as he stood to follow Kidman, who was already halfway out the door before he and Stevie could rise to their feet. One, was that he really was going back into the STEM system. He felt panic, but it was distant and easy to ignore. Anger (at Ruvik, mostly, but maybe a little at Kidman, Stevie and ‘Mobius’, too, for dragging him back into this mess) was there, too, a little closer to the surface. Determination overrode both. He would go in there and get Joseph back. End of story. Whatever happened between then and now was nothing he couldn’t handle.

The second reality that hit him was that he was about to see Joseph and Leslie –there bodies, at least –again.

The twisting halls and many rooms of the basement level went on –it must stretch under many buildings –but it still wasn’t enough time to prepare for the sight that greeted him in a sterile white room at the end of a sterile white hall. Leslie (he didn’t want to think of the white-haired boy in the centre of the room as Ruvik) was sitting up in the centre of the organisation’s STEM system, roughly where Ruvik’s brain once held prize position in another basement in another part of the city. He looked as small as he had been when Sebastian first met him, dark circles under his eyes and even a slightly slimmer build than before. He was sedated, so Sebastian didn’t have to worry about catching Ruvik’s eye, and he was wearing normal clothing –white long-sleeved top and white pants –so clearly at some stage Ruvik had decided to trade out the strait jacket.

There were five tubs surrounding the central platform where Leslie sat, around which the floor rose in circles, with desks and chairs and equipment all around. One tub, three to the right of Sebastian, held Joseph. Sebastian could barely see him through the (Nurses? Doctors? Technicians?) people surrounding him, only a head with dark hair and glasses, and for a moment all he could do was stare. A presence at his right shoulder forced him to look away.

It was Stevie, of course. Her hand was hovering by him, not quite touching but reaching out. Kidman stood a little behind her, and while her expression didn’t change much, Sebastian thought he could see concern. Again, Sebastian was reminded that Kidman wasn’t just the woman who’d lied to him and shot his partner, but also a woman who tried to make the best out of a bad situation, and hadn’t burned his body after she’d shot him, and tried to make Leslie feel safe and happy… before she shot him.

“Would you like to see him?” the offer came from Kidman, and he met eyes with her and yes, that was concern and maybe sympathy. Stevie dropped her hand to let him go, but Sebastian shook his head. What was the point? It would be Joseph, but Joseph was gone –they’d said as much themselves, he was still trapped in Ruvik’s mental world. Sebastian didn’t want to see his partner as a vegetable. He would much rather see him alive and, ideally, back in the real world, eating some low-cost take-out as he and Sebastian pulled another all-nighter working on a case.

There was a throat cleared to their right, behind Sebastian, and they all turned to look –Stevie giving a startled jump, Sebastian turning faster in surprise, and Kidman casually turning her head as if she’d seen the noise coming a mile away. Which she might have, seeing as she was the one with the best view of that direction.

Tallis stood behind them, leaning over a table (the lean took him down to just above Sebastian’s height). Three guns and three shoulder holsters lay on the table, plus six magazines.

“I’ll be expecting these back,” he told them. Sebastian had known the man for maybe half an hour, but even he could translate that as _don’t die._ It was understandably directed more at Stevie and Kidman, but Tallis made a point of including Sebastian as well, which he appreciated.

“You trust me enough to give me a loaded gun?” Sebastian asked Tallis as he strapped on the holster.

Tallis smirked. “I bet I’m a quicker draw than you are, Detective.”

Sebastian was about to reply when he caught Tallis looking over his shoulder. Holstering the gun, Sebastian turned, too.

Kidman and Stevie had both moved away from them. Kidman was talking to two doctor technicians (Sebastian honestly couldn’t figure out which word was more appropriate and didn’t really want to ask) by an unoccupied STEM tub, presumably the one she would occupy, two away from Joseph. Stevie had moved to the raised platform, talking to someone who Sebastian was pretty sure was a doctor. At first he assumed it was a technical conversation, like Kidman’s seemed to be, but her face showed worry and she kept glancing at Leslie as she spoke. Sebastian wondered whether she saw a boy or a monster, but his thoughts were interrupted when Tallis spoke.

“Listen, Castellanos,” he said, mispronouncing his name the same way Stevie had. “Juli’s probably one of the biggest badasses I know, and Vevie isn’t exactly a push over, so I’m not gonna ask you to take care of them.” Sebastian had been curious about the nickname, but ignored it –Tallis seemed like a good guy and if he wanted to be serious, Sebastian wouldn’t interrupt. “But I will ask you to work with them. I know that people get separated in there, but whenever you’re with them, have their back, ‘cause they’ll have yours.”

Sebastian nodded. It wasn’t a hard agreement to make. Having someone around was invaluable in the STEM world –the stress, the fear and the work were shared between you, making it so much easier than struggling on your own. He would’ve preferred Joseph, someone he could trust completely, but he trusted Kidman and Stevie not to shoot him in the back, and whatever lingering resentment he might feel for Stevie for lying and Kidman for lying and shooting Joseph and Leslie wasn’t enough for him to want them dead, even if he wasn’t sure he could fully forgive them yet..

“Promise,” Tallis demanded. It struck Sebastian as a childish request, though he understood it. Sebastian stood to lose his life and his partner today, but he had some control over the outcome and he had already thought he’d lost Joseph. Tallis could only watch as two of his colleagues (and friends, it was clear to see) risked their lives.

“I promise,” Sebastian told him, and then Kidman was calling for him and a doctor lead him to the tub next to Joseph’s and it was time to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Saunders is now Stevie... which is good, because in my head I kept thinking of her as 'Stevie' and accidentally typing that before having to change it.
> 
> In case there are any concerns (some of the original lines in this chapter were a bit shippy, and I think I left a bit of that tone in) I have no intentions of pairing Stevie off romantically (and if I did, it would more likely be with Kidman than Sebastian). 
> 
> The next chapter contains our first glimpse of the STEM system (finally) and a brief appearance by a character whose presence is totally spoiled by the character tags. Until then!
> 
> (Also, can anyone see the theme in the guards' names?)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A familiar face greets Sebastian before he's hooked up... and then, he, Kidman and Stevie enter the STEM world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!
> 
> I want to thank everyone who's supported this fic so far! And please remember that criticism is very welcome.
> 
> The theme for this chapter is 'Intermission' by Scissor Sisters

Before they went, there was a briefing –a woman at a table on the topmost circle of the room stood and addressed them all, telling them that, one way or another, today ended Ruvik’s reign of terror or the like. It was directed more at the support staff than the three actually entering the STEM system.

Sebastian paid far more attention to the other woman who approached them, long hair pulled back in a ponytail, glasses perched on her nose and a neutral expression that wasn’t forced. Out of her uniform it took Sebastian a second to recognise her, but those dark eyes couldn’t be mistaken.

“Nurse Gutierrez,” he greeted as she stood in front of him. Kidman and Stevie seeming happy to sit this exchange out. “I didn’t realise you worked here too.”

“It didn’t work out with my previous employer,” she replied with what might have been amusement, but her tone barely varied at all and retained the same dreamy quality it had had in the STEM asylum. The blazer she wore with Mobius emblazoned on the breast seemed to contradict what she said, but her face betrayed no hint as to whether what she was saying was true. If he’d thought Kidman was a stonewall, then Tatiana Gutierrez was a whole damn fort. “And please, Detective Castellanos, call me Tatiana. I’ve been in your head. I think we’re past the need for formalities.”

“Then it’s Sebastian,” he said, ignoring the sense of _déjà vu_ that came with him just having had a similar (though more light-hearted) conversation with Stevie.

“Sebastian, Tatiana has provided us with extensive information about the STEM system and Ruvik that corroborates with the records we found,” Stevie said, stepping up beside him. _That’s where the records went,_ Sebastian thought, but he accepted this with a nod. It made sense that Tatiana was here, in a way. He doubted anyone involved with the STEM system on an administrative level was an innocent bystander. Either they were with Ruvik, or with Mobius.

“I’m just here to tell you what to expect,” Tatiana said, examining all three of them. And, before Sebastian could say anything, “The experience won’t be the same as last time.”

“Because Ruvik’s desperate?” Kidman guessed, moving to Sebastian’s other side. Tatiana looked at her as she replied.

“He knows he’s been caught. He also knows that his only chance of escape lies in killing everyone in here before you finish your business in there.” Tatiana’s eyes drifted towards Sebastian. “I’m sure you’ll recall that last time you had no awareness of being within the STEM system?” When Sebastian nodded, she continued. “That won’t happen this time, but I suspect you’ll still have to battle your way to the deeper levels of the STEM system and Ruvik’s mind. And do be quick about it.”

Trying his best not to be unnerved by the perfect monotone of her voice, Sebastian spoke up. “Why do we have to be quick?”

It was Stevie who answered. “The STEM system requires a great deal of power. If you’re at the centre of it,” she gestured towards Leslie, “you can use that power to–”

“He saw the massacre at the hospital, Doctor,” Tatiana told her. Stevie seemed to freeze a little under her gaze.

“You’re telling me he can kill people from in there?” Sebastian demanded, because yes, the massacre at Beacon –the _real_ Beacon– had confused the hell out of him.

“One explanation of the paranormal is that spirits can draw on electromagnetic fields to manifest themselves,” Stevie told him, glad that Tatiana’s attention was back on Sebastian. “It’s a similar principle.”

“Can’t you stop it? You made the machine, right?” Sebastian kept his voice low to avoid attention, feeling that three sets of eyes on him was enough.

“We made all the adjustments we could without jeopardising its purpose,” Kidman told him, and Sebastian knew that she wasn’t happy with it either. Looking at Stevie, who seemed distinctly guilty, he realised that none of them were.

“There are fail-safes, but they can only keep Ruvik trapped in the machine for so long,” Stevie said, her attention directed at the floor.

“He’ll try to keep you busy up to the point where he feels he can manifest himself and kill everyone in this room,” Tatiana said, her statement all the more jarring for its complete lack of emotion. “At that point, he will probably decide it’s time to get rid of the three of you, if he hasn’t already. If the three of you are killed before he manifests himself, the system will be shut down and Ruvik disconnected before he can do any harm.”

“Which is why we have to be quick,” Sebastian concluded.

“Yes, it is,” Tatiana agreed. “Now, which tub would you prefer?”

***

Sebastian took the tub next to Joseph, with Stevie on his other side and Kidman at the end. He was injected with no less than three drugs (he did not ask what they were or consider protesting, because he was certain the names would mean nothing to him and there were far easier ways of killing him than convincing him of a massive set-up before poisoning him).

The liquid in the tub was luke-warm and soon he didn’t feel it at all. He wondered whether one of the syringes had held an anaesthetic, because he also felt nothing when a doctor made an incision on the back of his neck and inserted… something in there.

Sebastian was connected to the STEM system. He laid down in the tub, the same doctor ensuring he didn’t jostle or crush the cable.

There was a two minute wait as final preparations were made and checks were done. After that, someone asked if everyone was ready. A doctor looked down at him in askance –Sebastian was about to nod before he realised that might screw with the thing in his neck, was about to speak before he realised how dry his mouth was, and answered with a simple thumbs up. Stevie and Kidman had apparently also answered in the affirmative, as Sebastian closed his eyes and

***

Sebastian opened his eyes in the foyer of Beacon Hospital. It felt off to him, somehow, but he dismissed it as the STEM system (which he _did_ know he was in, thankfully) and focused on finding out if his current companions had made it through and, more importantly, his gun.

His gun was in the holster, fully loaded, and two magazines were clipped firmly to his belt. With that assured, he turned to the reception desk at the back of the foyer, where he saw Stevie looking around the hall. She met his eyes and smiled, then opened her mouth before hesitating.

“You know, I don’t think anything in here’s going to attack you for talking,” he assured her, guessing her fear.

Guessing right, apparently, because she looked sheepish. “Sorry. Nerves. How are you feeling?”

“Good, all things considered.” Sebastian began to make his way over to her, on guard –Haunted hadn’t attacked until well into his first visit to the STEM, but as Tatiana had said, this wouldn’t be like the last time. “Where’s Kidman?”

“Right here,” Kidman said from behind the reception desk. She appeared from behind the counter, leaning on it. “Thought I might check for anything useful before we got going. Nothing here.”

_Nothing here_ made Sebastian realise what was so off about the place –there were chairs, plants, everything in order, but no blood and no bodies like there had been in his last few visits here.

Shoving that feeling aside, he asked, “So now what?”

“I suppose a logical place to start would be to look for your partner,” Stevie said.

Sebastian turned to the exit, away from the other two, hiding his surprise –and, honestly, his relieved smile. He had been afraid that Joseph would be an afterthought to Stevie and Kidman, an optional objective which would be excellent to achieve but ultimately served no greater purpose. Stevie’s suggestion had gone some way to allaying that fear.

“Good a plan as any,” Kidman agreed, though there was a note in her voice which Sebastian thought was a genuine desire to do so.

“Where was he left?” Stevie asked, looking between the two of them.

“A park on 7th Street,” Kidman said.

Sebastian nodded. “Think he’ll still be there?”

“Those things couldn’t get inside the park for some reason, so they couldn’t have moved him,” Kidman replied. “And…” She trailed off, looking at the plant, and Sebastian knew she was going to say something like _and he couldn’t have moved himself._

“Anyone know how to get there from here?” Sebastian asked because frankly, Beacon Hospital and 7th Street weren’t parts of the town he visited often.

“I can get us in the area,” Stevie said.

“And I can hone us in from there,” Kidman finished. She walked around the desk, the hard heels of her boots making a _click clack_ nose that just wasn’t as impressive as the heels.

She walked past Stevie and Sebastian, and Sebastian followed her but paused when he realised there were only two sets of footsteps echoing through the incredible acoustics of the foyer.

He stood for a second, dreading what he might find when he turned around and hesitating to take his eyes off Kidman because three was better than two, but two was still better than one and if Ruvik was already picking them off then he’d rather have Kidman stay with him than vanish like Stevie.

But when Kidman turned her eyes focused on something behind him, and her expression showed confusion and maybe a hint of annoyance, but no fear or horror, Sebastian felt safe enough to turn, too.

Stevie hadn’t moved from where Sebastian had first seen here, only now she was staring at a door on the west wall of the foyer, expression unreadable. “Leslie’s room is that way.”

“If we find Leslie, we win,” Kidman said, gentle and firm, before Sebastian could ask why exactly Stevie might know such a thing. “He’s deeper in. Not there.”

Stevie nodded, fast, like she knew what Kidman was going to say and regretted even bringing it up. She turned to follow them out, and Sebastian couldn’t meet her eye.

Sebastian remembered the look Kidman had given her when she mentioned Leslie at the café and the way Stevie had asked about Leslie at the end of their last therapy session, but decided right now, while they were about to leave the relative safety of Beacon’s foyer, was not the right time to confront her about it. Besides, Kidman would be quick to shut him up and he doubted Stevie would get a chance to say anything important before Kidman could cut in.

The three of them stood side by side in front of the large double doors and paused.

Sebastian, in the middle, reached for his gun –Kidman did the same, and Stevie followed their lead. He checked the magazine, made sure there was a round chambered and flicked the safety off before returning his attention to the door.

“Stay close,” he said, but none of them made a move to open the door.

“If either of you get separated,” Sebastian continued, annoyed with himself because he was _stalling_ when Joseph’s life was at stake, “focus on staying alive. We’ll meet up again eventually.”

That advice was more for Stevie’s benefit, made even more obvious by the fact that Kidman didn’t even bother to acknowledge that he’d spoken at all. Stevie nodded, then glanced between him and the door, waiting.

Sebastian sighed, turned the door handle, and pulled.

***

The world outside was normal, which immediately put Sebastian on edge. The view from Beacon Hospital’s entrance showed nothing but the regular skyline of Krimson City and the perfectly paved roads surrounding them. All three of them walked slowly, standing in Beacon’s entrance and scanning the area.  It took Sebastian a moment to figure out what seemed so inherently wrong about this place –other than his own breathing, he couldn’t hear a sound. The empty city spread out before them, devoid of life.

Regardless of what they’d done, Sebastian was glad to have Kidman and Stevie beside him here. He knew for a fact Kidman could handle herself here, and from the way Stevie’s eyes calmly swept the place as she held her gun at the ready, Sebastian guessed she wouldn’t be a burden in a fight.

“Which way?” Sebastian asked, his voice low –for some reason, breaking the unnatural silence of the town seemed dangerous, at odds to the almost normal atmosphere of the hospital.

Kidman answered by nodding towards Azure Avenue, a long road that stretched across the city, north to south.

Sebastian nodded, already starting to move, but the moment his foot hit the first step a tremor shook the city. The tremor turned to a rumble, and the rumble turned to a roar.

_Shit._

Sebastian backed up, but the shaking didn’t stop.

If anything, it got worse.

Dust bellowed up from the ground and the buildings, making it impossible to see further than three feet. He could no longer see Kidman, but he could make out Stevie’s figure, sepia toned through the dust, crouching by the door.

Pushing away any concern for Kidman, because there wasn’t anything he could do for her when he could barely walk straight, he stumbled over to Stevie and dropped down to join her, feeling more stable with his centre of gravity lower to the ground.

“Are you alright?” he yelled in her ear, barely able to hear himself over the din.

“Yes! Are you?” Stevie replied. He had to strain to hear her, but before he could reply he was interrupted by a sudden _CRASH_ and then several more _._

A fresh wave of dust billowed over them, straight into Sebastian’s mouth and lungs, and shocked him into a harsh coughing fit.

The shaking stopped all at once.

_Deep breaths,_ Sebastian told himself as he tried to stop his coughing. _Calm it down._

The dust was still floating through the air, but it seemed more like a dirty mist now –he felt no ill effects from breathing it. It didn’t seem to be settling any time soon, so Sebastian stood and looked around.

Stevie rose beside him. He quickly checked her over for injuries, found she was shaken but none the worse for wear, and then looked for Kidman.

“Are you two alright?”

The voice came from the bottom of the steps. Sebastian and Stevie found Kidman there, sounding annoyed and, thankfully, uninjured. She seemed to be standing in a particularly thick dust cloud –Sebastian could barely make out any details of her, making her a dark brown silhouette with impressions of where her eyes were.

“We’re okay.” Sebastian made his way down the steps, observing the damage. It was hard to see with the dust still floating, but he could make out that the hospital, at least, seemed unharmed.

“What happened?” Stevie asked, and Sebastian might have made a biting remark if he hadn’t turned to see that the question had been directed at Kidman.

Stevie was fluttering over her, checking for even the smallest bruise. Kidman took her concern without much surprise and with impressive patience. Sebastian revised his ‘good teacher’ opinion of Stevie to ‘good kindergarten teacher’.

“I nearly got thrown off the stairs and decided I was safer at the bottom,” Kidman said. Stevie had finally realised that Kidman was fine and given her some breathing space. “Still, that didn’t seem intended to hurt us.”

“He probably just wants to freak us out,” Stevie suggested.

“Or block our way,” Sebastian said. Both women looked at him, confused, then followed his eyes towards Azure Avenue. The dust had cleared enough that they could see all of their surroundings, only turning everything to a faded brown.

A building, no less than fifteen storeys, now lay across the avenue. Several piles of rubble occupied the surrounding streets, more fallen buildings.

Sebastian pushed down worry (for Joseph, because if he was there, he didn’t have the relative safety Beacon offered, and dear _God_ if he’d returned to Ruvik’s mind only to find his partner crushed by a building–) and said, “Is there another way?”

Kidman walked up to stand beside him, surveying the damage. “It’ll be less direct,” she told him, “but we’ll get there.”

Sebastian nodded, taking those words to heart: _we’ll get there. We’ll find him._

_I’m not going back without him._

Those thoughts surprised him with their intensity, but before he could focus on them Kidman’s voice shook him to his core.

“Where the hell is Stevie?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Tatiana's really cool.
> 
> And uh oh! It seems the party's dwindling already. I wonder, would you prefer Stevie alive or dead?
> 
> I should warn you -chapter updates will be a bit more sparse, but I should be able to update at least once a week. 
> 
> Have a lovely day/night!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Stevie's disappearance, Kidman and Sebastian are forced to move forward without her. Unfortunate for Stevie, because she might not want to face what's coming next alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!
> 
> I'm still not entirely sure how long this fic will be, because it depends on how much plot I can fit in each chapter. I do have the plot down, though, so there's that!
> 
> The theme for this chapter is 'Exit Music' by Radiohead, a song based on the last Act of Romeo and Juliet.

Sebastian doesn’t think he’s ever turned faster in his life, but he still only barely catches Beacon Hospital’s doors slamming shut. The sound echoed oddly in the dusty air of the silent city. _Sacrilegious_ was the word that flew through Sebastian’s mind.

Kidman ran up the stairs, pushing past him hard –not out of malice, he was just blocking the most direct route. He watched her try to pull the doors open, then push, then give a final, frustrated kick before he fully absorbed what was happening.

_They were right,_ he thought, his mind starting to work properly again, _this is different._

There was another explanation which, though unlikely, forced him to ask, “Could she have run back to check the hospital?”

Kidman turned her resigned glare from the door to him. “She wouldn’t. Stevie’s not dumb enough to try and run off on her own here.” She made her way down the stairs once again to stand at Sebastian’s side. “He’s not going to let us get to her through there.”

“No, he won’t,” Sebastian agreed. They stood in silence for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts. Last time, he’d been transported somewhere completely different whenever he was separated. From Kidman’s face, he knew they were both thinking _she might not even be in the same hospital_. Sebastian had to admit that he would rather Kidman had been grabbed then Stevie –not because he preferred Stevie’s company or trusted her more in a fight, but simply because Kidman had proven herself capable of surviving here on her own before. Stevie had not.

Kidman broke the silence. “We should keep moving. He’s not going to leave us alone forever.” She started walking without waiting for a reply or even to see if he was following. If Sebastian hadn’t been looking closely, he might have missed her shaking hands. He made the decision not to comment. He’d preferred his grief unnoticed at best, or ignored if necessary. He’d afford the same respect for Kidman, even if what she was feeling wasn’t entirely grief.

The dust had cleared more, leaving only the slightest traces hovering in the air around them. Almost every single one of the roads that ran the same direction as Azure Avenue had been blocked off in some way, either with the crumbling remains of fallen buildings or ten care high pile-ups. The destruction left them with very few options. Sebastian trusted Kidman to choose the route that would get them there quickest.

The foreboding gates of Beacon acted as a boundary between the neat, if dusty, lawn of the hospital and the chaos of the world beyond. Sebastian felt certain that a horde of Haunted would appear the moment they stepped beyond the gates, or that the ground would open up and swallow them whole, or that one of Ruvik’s larger creations would appear and crush them beneath its hands –or tentacles, as the case may be. When Kidman stepped over the threshold he nearly moved to stop her, but when no imminent danger appeared, he followed.

The empty streets seemed to encourage paranoia –the many dark windows of the buildings looming over them feeling like they held countless eyes within, watching the two below. Though no the streets remained empty aside from broken glass, twisted steel and crumbling concrete, Sebastian kept a steady grip on his gun.

Kidman paused, scanning the area for the best possible route that didn’t sacrifice too much time.

“How do you feel about going into those buildings?” she asked without turning around.

Sebastian followed her eyes down a smaller street running almost parallel to Azure Avenue. Only the top of a smaller building had broken, covering the street and one large concrete block and landed broken through the roof of two adjacent buildings down to about the third floor, acting as a bridge between them.

Sebastian considered –a smaller area made it less likely for a large horde or a giant creature to appear, and the feeling of hundreds of unseen eyes watching him hadn’t abated at all.

“Let’s go,” he said. Even if the streets had remained safe so far, there was no guarantee they would remain that way.

As they moved on their chosen path, both Sebastian and Kidman snatched glances back at the hospital, hoping in vain that their lost companion might appear. Sebastian wanted to use the relative calm of the walk to question Kidman –on the organisation, Stevie and her past –but he couldn’t bring himself to. Stevie’s disappearance had shaken her, even if she wasn’t showing it, and Sebastian doubted that asking her potentially invasive questions which she probably wouldn’t or couldn’t answer wouldn’t help matters and might just lead her to lash out at him –something he wouldn’t be able to blame her for. She might be more likely to let something slip now, but Sebastian wouldn’t sink to that level.

The glass of the entrance to the building had been shattered by a stray piece of concrete debris. The glass crunched and cracked under their feet as they stepped over the door’s remains, into what might have been the ground floor of a small apartment building. A security or admin desk took up the right of the room, while a noticeboard and post boxes lined the back wall, by the elevator. Seats took up most of the left and stairs were tucked neatly into a corner, behind a fire door.

The new proud centrepiece of the area was the piece of concrete that had broken through, some twisted metal sticking out the edges.

“Elevator or stairs?” Kidman asked as they stepped around the concrete.

Sebastian had already decided. “The elevator’s got about a fifty-fifty chance of taking us where we don’t want to go.”

“Or trapping us in an enclosed space with a creature,” Kidman agreed, and she moved to open the fire door while Sebastian levelled his gun, prepared for anything to jump out.

Kidman wasted no time, opening the door and moving well to the side to get out of Sebastian’s line of fire.

The empty, innocuous stairwell that faced him seemed almost more ominous than one that had been covered in blood, though still not as threatening as a horde of Haunted, or (God forbid) Ruvik himself. Sebastian lowered his gun and shook his head –all clear.

Kidman lead the way up the stairs, checking each corner for traps or monsters. Sebastian cursed Ruvik for keeping them both on edge and giving them nothing to show for it –if it weren’t for the unnatural silence of the building (no hum of the heating system, no drifting conversation from the floors they passed, no traffic outside), it would’ve been easy to mistake this as any normal, real apartment building.

When they reached the fourth floor, a giant hole in the building let in a little extra light, but not much –the city’s cloudy sky filtered down light of the same quality of the fluorescent bulbs of the building. The air was still and the same lukewarm of the STEM tub’s liquid.

The chunk missing from the building had been taken by a wide concrete column, the rubble mostly fallen into the alley below. Enough had fallen into the stairwell that it required some clambering from the third flight up to make it, and even more to get onto the column itself, but Kidman and Sebastian managed it with little difficulty.

What Sebastian hated was that he had to put away his gun to keep his balance –while some injuries had a habit of mysteriously disappearing in the STEM system, a twisted ankle was not something he had the patience to deal with.

Even worse was the exposure of walking across the column to the neighbouring apartment block. Sebastian felt all those eyes on him again, and for the seven seconds it took him to cross, he fully expected to hear a resounding bang followed by searing pain, or a hellish screeching followed by the booming footsteps of some giant monster.

He reached the other side safely, though, as did Kidman.

They had entered a wrecked apartment, a bed crushed under the weight of concrete and rubble knocking tables and chairs and denting cabinets.

Kidman and Sebastian shared a look, and he understood that she felt the same as he did –that the silence, the stillness and the resounding emptiness of the city was designed to frighten them. Even knowing that, it was doing a damn good job. It was lucky that they didn’t have to talk to address that, because Sebastian was certain that if either of them pierced the silence for too long, other things would start to.

He also didn’t want to make any more noise than necessary, so when they tried the apartment door only to find it locked, he grimaced as he prepared to kick it down.

“Did you even think of looking for the keys?” Kidman asked, before he could slam his foot down by the lock.

“Are you sure there are any?” Sebastian returned, somewhat defensive, because hell, he hadn’t thought of that. In his defence, ‘keys’ were not something he associated with the STEM system. ‘Elaborate, illogical puzzles’ were closer.

“No, but spending five minutes looking might expend less energy than kicking down a solid security door.” With that, Kidman turned towards what was once an open living area and began rifling through the kitchen cabinets.

Sebastian shrugged, but relented to checking the bedroom.

The bedroom, half-buried in concrete, still has a relatively unscathed bedside table that just escaped being crushed by the bed it was placed to the side of. It seems as likely a place as any, so he carefully steps over the rubble and kneels down, opening the first drawer. He could hear Kidman searching through the open door, the only sound in the strange silence.

There were no keys, only a note –one he feels compelled to read.

It appeared to be a diary entry of some sort –the handwriting was printed and neat, easily readable.

_Memo going around this office today about some woman getting a bit too close to us. Normally something like this doesn’t get a lot of attention, ‘cause Jim’s been getting bolder recently with his ‘acquisitions’ and relatives and friends are clammering for answers. The only reason she warrants any notice is because she’s from out of town and pretty well known where she’s from. Undue attention and shit if she makes a target of herself._

The memo was probably something from a Mobius staff member, but who? It had to have been written or read by someone who had been hooked up to the STEM. The only Mobius staff he knew had been hooked up were Stevie, Kidman and Tatiana, and he doubted any of them had written this. There might be more, though –God only knew how many people had been hooked up to the STEM system.

The woman referenced was almost definitely Stevie, and ‘Jim’ probably meant ‘Jimenez’. Other than that, it didn’t provide him with much information. He’d known, or guessed, that Stevie wasn’t a KC local and that Jimenez wasn’t above making people with connections disappear, though he preferred his own staff or patients. The only question it brought up was why only Jimenez was referenced as making people disappear, and that could be dismissed as someone simplifying for the sake of an easy note.

He dropped the note in frustration… but then sighed, crumpled it up and stuffed it in his pocket. Maybe he could ask Kidman about it once they’d found the damn keys.

Before he could open the next drawer, he froze –the thought of Kidman had brought something to the forefront of his mind.

He could no longer hear her searching. The terrible silence permeated everything.

Not for long, though, as the soft _click_ of a closing door sounded from behind him –not the front door. The bedroom door.

He rose, slowly, before turning around.

“Ruvik.”

***

In Beacon Hospital’s foyer, now lit only by fluorescent lights (those that still worked, in any case), Stevie picked herself up and dusted herself off.

She tried the door as a formality, knowing it was locked. The handle barely turned at all. With that done, she turned to assess the changes in the hospital.

It did not depict the scene of the massacre, thankfully, though the sharp smell of blood surrounded her and stuck to the back of her throat, despite the lack of apparent source. The windows were covered from the outside, with what she couldn’t tell –it looked like climbing ivy, thicker than any she’d seen before. She counted about four lights that worked, and one that insistently flickered and hurt her eyes. The wallpaper seemed mouldy and the chairs, once neatly aligned, were either ripped, knocked over or placed in the middle of aisles.

Unlike the stark atmosphere of before, Stevie felt that this was a place in which monsters lurked.

She reached for her gun –only to realise it wasn’t there.

_No,_ she begged whatever deity might be listening, _no no no._ She stared desperately at the holster, hoping against hope that her eyes were merely adjusting to the reduced light and that her gun was _there,_ right in front of her, she just couldn’t see it yet.

But if her eyes lied, her hands did not, and, trembling, they found the gun gone, the holster empty.

She searched the floor around her, eyes raking under chairs and into corners, anywhere it might have dropped, coming up with nothing.

She’d been holding it when she’d felt… something… grab her outside –in her shock, she probably dropped it and now her weapon was sealed away from her.

Panic threatened to set in, but Stevie was schooled in the art of calm. Deep breaths slowed her heart rate and cleared her head enough for her to think through her situation.

First up, standing around in the open with no weapon –bad idea.

The nurses’ desk provided the best cover in the room so, slowly, quietly, and careful to step around any fallen or poorly placed chairs, she made her way over.

_It’s a setback,_ she told herself, _but it can be overcome. You haven’t spent the last two years preparing to be killed off._

There could well be alternative weapons around. Stevie knew there were reports of all sorts of weaponry being used in the STEM world, and that they had a tendency to be left lying around. They might not be common, but she was familiar with some of Beacon Hospital –she might be able to use that to remain undetected as she searched.

A plan was well on its way to forming in her head when Stevie found her way behind the nurses’ desk, where she saw something. A familiar shape lay atop the visitor’s register, and, though she assured herself she could’ve done without it, a wave of relief rolled over her as she picked up her gun and checked –six rounds in the magazine, one in the chamber. All good.

“Thank you,” she whispered, though she didn’t know who to.

Before she could wonder too deeply, one of the doors creaked open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... we now have two POV characters. The main story will still centre around Sebastian, but for the sake of this narrative, it's easier if other characters get their time in the spotlight too. For now, it will just be Sebastian and Stevie, but others might also appear as the fic continues.
> 
> I want to thank everyone who's left kudos, bookmarked and commented on this -your support means a lot! As always, comments and criticism are very much appreciated!
> 
> Until next time!

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't decided how heavily it will be featured, but JoSeb is totally a thing here... but I won't tag it as such until there's an actual JoSeb scene.
> 
> I hope you all like Doctor Saunders, because though the main character is Sebastian, she will be a major character. If you don't, or have any problem with her, please let me know -I want to make sure all my OCs fit in nicely with the universe.
> 
> Additional chapter notes can be found on my Tumblr. Same name as here. Link: http://ayane458.tumblr.com/post/106936911595/just-posted-first-chapter-of-my-the-evil-within


End file.
